7 Ways To Help You Feel Like You Again, After Children

Becoming a mum changes your life, there's no doubt about that. It's one of the most life changing experiences that you can go through. You go from being independent, just having yourself to take care of, then suddenly being responsible for a whole new life. It's sets us up on a completely different pathway. It can make you feel like you are losing part of your identity, you no longer feel like you anymore. Or at least the you you once were. It's so important as a mum that you have a strong sense of self, of who you are. Even if it's not the you that you used to be. Yes it might be a drastic change, but it's an amazing one. I'm sharing a few ways to help you feel like you again, after having children.
It might feel like your identity has been forgotten somewhere along the way, that you have lost yourself. But trust me, you're still in there. You just need to reignite that feeling, rediscover the person inside. 

Catch Up With Old Friends Or Make New Ones
Meet up with some of your old friends for a coffee, invite them over for a catch up. This is definitely something that works. I don't know if it's just me, but whenever I see my old friends, even if I haven't seen them for a good few years it doesn't feel like that. It doesn't feel like any time has passed. You should even try to make some new mummy friends. New friends who you'll have things in common with, and you can sit down with a coffee and a cake together and discuss motherhood, and everything that comes with it. While it's fantastic to keep in touch with your old friends, it's great to make new, like minded friends like you too. Visit a parent & baby group, get chatting to parents at the park. Whatever works for you. 

Do Things Just For You
I know I find it hard to do things just for me sometimes, but it's important. You need to take care of yourself and you deserve to do things just for your own fulfilment now and then. Remind yourself that you are 'not just a mum'. Treat yourself, do something you love doing, something that makes you happy and feel good. Learn something new, apply for a job, go out for the afternoon. Everyone deserves a break now & then.

Ask For Help
Ahh the classic piece of advice new mums are always given. 'If you need help, ask for it', but the truth is we don't want to. We don't want to ask for help or advice because we will feel like a bit of a disappointment if we cannot cope alone. This is such rubbish. Everyone needs help sometimes, everyone deserves help sometimes. There's no shame in asking for it, especially when you are a new mum. It can be overwhelming, and people are more often than not so willing to help out. Take advantage of an extra pair of hands!

Do Something Spontaneous
When was the last time you were spontaneous? Yes it's pretty tricky to do something on the spur of moment when you have kids, because of course you don't just have yourself to think about. But it's still possible. Hire a babysitter, or ask a family member and go on a spontaneous date night! Book a last minute holiday, pack up and go on a road trip or even just go for it and book yourself in to have that hair cut you've wanted for months. 

Do Things By Yourself
As a mum, It can be hard to find time just to yourself. There's always something you should be doing. But finding that time just for you is so important. We tend to feel a bit guilty when we take time out for ourselves, because there's always something else we could be doing, something to tick off that never ending checklist but truth is, some things can wait. Taking care of yourself is something we should be doing - so add it to that checklist! (and not right at the bottom!). Make the time to do things by yourself. When your parents are looking are your little ones, when they're at nursery, or school. Do something alone. Just by yourself. Go to a cafe, the cinema. Go on a long walk or snuggle on the sofa with a movie and popcorn. What ever you fancy, just spend some quality time with yourself!

Try Some Retail Therapy
When you first become a mum, your whole sense of style tends to just get thrown out the window. It's totally understandable! Comfort is key! But when your little ones get a bit older, you can spend a bit more time on your clothing choices.  Treat yourself to a new item of clothing, it'll make you feel and look amazing. 

Spend Time On Your Appearance
I get it, I totally get it. When you have children, it's so much harder to find the time to make yourself up like you used to. You might have discovered that you love more neutral, natural make up and that's perfectly fine! I tend to wear minimal make up in the day now, and just shove my hair in a mum bun! But every once in a while, spend a bit more time. Get your hair done, paint your nails. Pamper yourself. You're worth it.
It's not the fact that your identity has disappeared, or you have forgotten who you are. It's the fact that yes, becoming a mum is a huge, life changing thing. It's going to change you, but it doesn't mean you are not you anymore. It will add to who you were. You are different. But that's ok. 
You have changed but
You are still you. 
You are amazing. 
You are a mum.

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