Losing Yourself to Motherhood

It's so easy to feel like you are losing your identity when you become a mum. The second you bring your beautiful first little baby into the world and your life as mother begins. It's busy, it's constant, it's repetitive. With a million and one lists of things you need to do , as well as all the things you'd like to. Attending to your children's needs, educating, changing, feeding, bathing, taking care of the house, taking care of yourself, dinner making, errand running - the list in never ending.

Losing Yourself To Motherhood

It's like a switch clicks after you give birth, you are indefinitely in Mum Mode from then on. I remember, a month or so after my oldest was born, and I was beginning to adjust to life as a mother, I began thinking..'When will I feel like me again'

Going for days not getting dressed, barely having enough time to shower let alone put on make up, cook meals or go out. It seems like you'll never find yourself again, you'll never get back to who you once were. 

The one thing no one tells you when you have a baby, is you will feel like you'll have no idea if what you are doing is right. 'Is this what I should be doing? Is this normal?' 

Losing Yourself To Motherhood

The early days are draining, exhausting, you have no time for yourself, and you are so distracted you don't really even have the time to think about the fact you don't have the time for yourself! Then gradually you start getting back into a routine, baby sleeps and wakes at regular times (hopefully), so you can plan your day around that. You know when you can have a shower, when you have 5-10 minutes to look presentable and after a while you even have your evenings back. 

This all happened to me, and it absolutely happened again the second time around, and the third. The early days of motherhood will look like this for everyone. You might think you start to feel your old self, your old life slipping away, you might start to worry "I don't feel like me anymore" - It's not a motherhood identity crisis, this is all totally normal. 

A few months after my oldest was born, and I had begun to settle into life as a mother, something hit me - I am me, just not the same me I used to be.

When you become a mother, you will lose part of yourself, and I can guarantee you will not be able to do some of the things you used to do. 

You will never be the Old You again. And that is awesome. Becoming a mother transforms you. The experience will completely change you in ways you could never imagine, ways no-one could ever describe to you. You will feel wonderful, powerful, magical.

This is the New You.
And you are perfect.

Losing Yourself To Motherhood



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Losing Yourself To Motherhood

Losing Yourself To Motherhood


Louise said...

A beautiful post and so very true - you never do go back to the old you after becoming a mother but nor do you really want to (even though there are times when you long for a little more 'me' time!) I love the way you describe the new you as wonderful, powerful and magical

Unknown said...

So true. I've spent a long time trying to rediscover the 'old me' but she's gone and I don't want to go back to who I was before kids, or even who I was after I had my first child. I am the me I am now and that's not gonna change.

Anonymous said...

Sarah, this is beautiful and rings true for me and no doubt will do for so many mums out there. I love this and thank you for sharing and linking up this lovely post with us at #SundayStars xxx

Unknown said...

This is a lovely post and very true! It's a blur at first and I think I wAs 3 weeks until I really felt better and actually properly started bonding with my little one! It was when I was left alone for the first time. Getting a routine is fab tho. Xxx #sundaystars

Lucy Howard said...

What a lovely and beautifully written post. I can completely identify with all of this. I have changed so much since becoming a mother and I love that. Little Miss H has made me a better person in every way. Thanks for linking up to #SundaysStars. Hugs Mrs H xxxx

Fionnuala said...

Very true Sarah. I feel the same.

Unknown said...

Lovely post and so true. I spent ages wanting to feel like the old me again and then suddenly everything slotted into place and I felt like a better version of the old me. Love that quote x #ShareItSunday

Eat.Love.Live said...

This is so true. You put it so well. For me, at about the 7th month mark of being a mummy I had a moment where things just clicked back into place. It's what makes me so terrified about thinking of number 2! X #twinkkytuesday

Oh So Amelia said...

So true! I felt like this too and then you slowly get out of it and start feeling like yourself again. I think it took less time the second time round as I just had to get on with it and actually leave the house for school runs #shareitsunday x

Unknown said...

I think you're right - it took me a while to accept this but being a bit of an 'older' mum worked in two ways, in one way, I'd had so much more time being just me - the way I was - that is was harder to come to terms with the loss of what went before, but in another way it is easy to forget that I was actually ready for this change - I couldn't go back, wouldn't want to. Thanks for linking up to this week's #thetruthabout X

Unknown said...

Another beautiful post Sarah, this is absolutely true and something we could all do with reminding ourselves sometimes I think :)


Unknown said...

Beautifully written. Thank you so much for sharing!